Moonlight and Magnolias!

This year I went to the Georgia Romance Writer Association's Moonlight and Magnolias for the first time and I had an incredible time. I was really nervous going into the conference because I'd never been and I didn't know anyone who was going to be there. It turned out to be one of the most fun, informative conferences I've ever been to. 

Everyone was beyond friendly, before I'd been there ten minutes I'd already made new friends and was getting all kinds of great advice on how to make the most of my time at the conference. 

For the first time ever, I pitched agents and editors and I didn't burst into flames once! I actually spent all day Friday taking cancelled pitch sessions and ended up chatting with 7 agents and/or editors. Out of those 3 requested fulls, and 2 requested partials. The other 2 didn't represent my genre but we still had great chats about books and writing. 
Jana Oliver gave a great speech during lunch about not quitting and her own path to success. It was really inspiring to hear! 

Saturday I went to several workshops and learned a lot of new techniques and tips to try out. I think my favorite was learning about storyboarding your novel. I had a lot of fun cutting up pictures and making a collage of inspiration. I'll definitely pull that out in the future. Chris Marie Green gave a really fun but moving speech about her own struggles with publishing and her path through the ups and downs. She themed everything with TV shows and it was really engaging to listen to. 

The evening was the Maggie Awards and one of the things i was most excited about! There aren't many chaces to get dressed up like a princess so I was happy to have the chance to throw on a dress and heels. Because I wasn't staying at the hotel, I actually ended up getting dressed in the bathroom and made several friends who were doing the same thing. Nice to know there'll always be somewhere there to zip your dress up! 

The ceremony was lovely. There were a lot of beautiful tributes and speeches and it was so exciting seeing how many people cheered for one another. When the awards were over the dance floor opened up and partying fully commenced. I had a great time during the few songs I danced to! 

Sunday was the day of goodbyes and while I hated telling everyone bye, I know I'll see many of them soon when I visit the Georgia Romance Writer's next meeting! :)

All in all I was amazed at how welcoming and supportive everyone was. All of the authors were thrilled to meet new authors and share wisdom. Everyone was so passionate and in love with writing that I came home ready to write my heart out on new and old projects. It's hard to be around so many incredible people and not leave inspired! 

How to not be a sad potato

Being surrounded by incredibly talented people and feeling totally overwhelmed seems to pounce on every creative person I know. At most conventions I go to, including DragonCon, sometimes I sit and think, 'Wow, everyone around me is so talented and accomplished and I am a potato who somehow toppled into this party by mistake.' 
The feeling goes by many names but imposter syndrome is the most recent and seems to have connected with a lot of people. It's a feeling everyone seems to get in one way or another. Some of the people I admire most in the world have admitted they feel the same way; that at any second, someone is going to ask 'What are you doing here? You don't belong.' and that will be the end of your charade as a potato trying to make it in this crazy world. 
What makes dealing with this even more challenging is that the voice telling you that you don't belong sounds so rational. 'Your friend has an agent and five books out. Your mentor has written 15 novels. What have you done?' 
It sounds totally logical to you and that makes it seem all the more real. The feeling starts small and soon you're sitting in silence, scared to say anything in the conversation because what if that statement accidently outs you as a fake? Besides, it's not like you, little potato, can contribute to the discussion anyways. 
There's not an easy way to deal with the feeling. If there were it wouldn't be such a phenomena effecting so many people in so many different industries. Social media certainly doesn't help either. On the internet you see the polished up, filtered and perfectly hashtagged life that someone is creating, not the three hours they spent that morning staring at the wall because they couldn't get a word onto the page. 
Here are five things that have helped me overcome potato feels and start being a functioning member of the world again. 

1. Do something. Anything. 
It can be something as little as cleaning a part of your desk, sending an email you've been meaning to send, or reading a book in your to be read pile. Accomplishing something can help give you a boost of feel-good energy to get back on your feet. 

2. Help someone else. 
Somewhere out there is someone looking at you and thinking you're the most talented, lucky person in the room. Someone out there wants your help. Help someone and get out of your own head for just a little while. The space will help. 

3. Write for 10 minutes. Or even just five. 
Write anything, everything. It doesn't have to make sense; just write out anything that pops into your head, get it out of your head and into the universe. Try to write past the point that it's all negative.

4. Tell someone you feel like a potato. 
Find that one friend you can confess to. Saying the words out loud helps take some of their power away, and I bet your friend will say they feel that way too. You're not alone. 

5. No one knows what they're doing. 
Really listen to the people around you. When I open my ears and stop wallowing in my own self-pity and potatoness I hear that my friends don't know what they're doing. They all have things going wrong and are trying to do the best they can with what they have. 

There's no quick and easy cure for feeling this way, but it isn't a permenant place you have to stay in. You're not an imposter and don't let that fear stop you. 

                                                                        Thanks to the amazing Emily's Diary for creating this image. 

5 Ways to Not Be A Lonely Writer

Writing is known for being a solitary pursuit. While there are writer’s groups and ways to create a network around writing, the work itself has to be done alone. Chatting with friends cuts into writing time. It’s easy for a write to tumble into THE ANTI-SOCIAL BUBBLE aka the thunder dome where no one makes eye-contact or speaks. It’s even easier when the creative life takes a nosedive and depression crawls in.

You get wrapped into the world of writing and see relationships drift away until you look up to see you’re a thousand miles from where you started with no one there to help and little energy to even call for help.  There’s a reason that the classic image of a writer is someone alone with nothing but a bottle keeping them company.  Writers tend to be introverted but that doesn’t mean that you don’t need people, social contact and to remember how to say hello and have a conversation. Having a rich fantasy life won’t save you from having to still call the phone company, interact with readers/reviewers/editors/people or any number of other things. 

Not to mention that writing can be an emotionally draining and challenging roller coaster. I always fall into a heavy crash after I finish a project and even though I don’t want to be around people, it’s what I need to help get me out of my funk and into the next project. A support system can be a lifesaver.

Here are five ways that I try to get myself out of the bubble and back into being a somewhat functioning part of life.

1.     Make plans in advance

Know that you’re finishing a draft at the end of September and going to crash emotionally? Make plans with a friend to do something you’re excited about. It could be a big trip, or it could just be watching a TV show you’ve been meaning to catch up on.  Have those plans in place in advance.

2.     Reach out online/text/phone/video

Sometimes the people you most want to see aren’t able to physically be there. That’s okay. We live in the future and you have a device around where you can send someone a message. Email a friend and talk about what’s going on. Text a friend that you’re having a hard time. Skype with your sister. Send a silly cat video to your friend who lives in Korea.

3.     Celebrate.

I like throwing parties so planning a gathering almost always helps throw me out of a funk. There’s so much to do to get ready that I keep myself busy and excited about my friends coming over. Plan parties around times you think you’ll be feeling rough.

4.     Go to a class

Interested in Sky Yoga? What about marketing? Find a class, online or in person, and go check it out. You’ll learn a lot and meet interesting new people. Who knows, maybe you’re next story will spring from what you’re learning?

5.     Find help.

Sometimes you need more than just a friend to talk and you need to look to talk to a therapist or other type of professional. There are options online, there are help lines and ways to reach someone at little to no cost. Don’t be afraid to reach out for that lifeline.

The roller coaster of the creative life can be a challenge to manage, especially when you’re a new writer and still learning what patterns your work might trigger, or when you’re querying, going on submission, or through a rough edit for the first time.  There’s no shame in reaching out to the people around you for support.

Five Ways to Keep Writing While Stressed

So I just finished moving and somehow managed to not pull out all of my hair even though I really wanted to. Along the past month I spent a lot of time stressed out and trying to hit a deadline with an office in boxes. So here I am back with a blog post about writing when stressed out and some tips that helped me live through box fort island.

CHAOS FOREVER

. Write first thing.

Get out of bed just 15 minutes early and use that time to write. It's easy to get lost in the chaos of the day and stress. But if you get some words down before the rest of the day can beat you up then you can get some great work done.

2. Writing sprints.

Waiting for the next appointment and have some down time? Grab your phone, tablet or paper and write. It's impressive how much you can get done in these little chunks of time. 

3. Break out.

Go somewhere new and spend time writing. Getting out of a stressful environment can help you get some writing done. (Please don't actually break anything)

4. Put it on your calendar.

Make a date with your laptop and commit to it. Block it off on your calendar and stick to it. This can be tough to manage but it's incredibly effective.

5. Don't.

I know, I know! But sometimes there really is too much going on and you need to accept that words are not happening. Don't beat yourself up about it and don't say anything mean to yourself. It's ok.

Those are a few pointers for writing while stressed but I'd love to know your tips.

Stretch it out Part 2

I've previously put together a list of some of my favorite stretching videos but lately I've been feeling tighter than usual (that whole being a desk all the time thing will get to you) and wanted to share some more stretching videos that I've found. 

What are some stretches that help you when you're getting that tense stiffness from sitting at a desk? 

Patience aka WHY CAN'T I HAVE MY BOOK NOW?

Patience is probably one the virtues I wish I was better at. Writing is a slow process THAT TAKES FOREVER AND WHY CAN'T I HAVE MY BOOK NOW?

Depending on how fast you write, finishing the first draft of a single short story can take a month or more, and if you start working on a longer piece... that can drag on for years (just don't be one of those people who is 'working on a novel' without ever writing a word, okay? Get it on paper.). You finally get the story done and stare at your lovely, little word blob and then it just magically becomes a book instantly. That's a new mac attachment clearly, the iPublishnow.

Truth: ALL OF THAT WRITING ISN'T EVEN THE HALF OF IT.

After you finish that first steaming draft full of problems and trouble THEN you have to go back and edit, and sometimes rewrite it. And you do this step over and over and over. Until your eyes sizzle and coffee drizzles from your nose.

After that, you submit it off into the wild blue-green yonder where it either a) goes off to an agent to look for representation b) goes to a publisher (and probably the BUMBUMBUM slush pile) or c) self-pub baby!

(okay, those are not every option ever available for a writer, but let's just stick with those three for simplicity's sake, kay?)

From here, everything requires more steps.

AKA No don't just type THE END and throw it up on Amazon and wait for the money to rain down from the muses that live above your bed.

From here it will try to find a home, contracts will be negotiated, drawn up, yadda yadda, THEN it will go through a series of edits, a title will be decided, descriptions created, covers  made, and formatting fought with. Annnnd probably more that I'm forgetting or just plain don't know about because they haven't happened to me yet.

End of story: There's still a TON of steps from after you type the end to when you hold your precious word vomit baby in your arms and coo over it.

The fastest one has gone for me is a short story that took roughly 6 months from THE END to print version, and that was damn fast because it only had four people in the anthology.

The longest?

Well, let's just say there are some 3+ year projects that haven't moved forward past typing THE END yet.

That's another part of writing you don't learn about until you're there. Projects can and will just freeze for unknown reasons. Sometimes a project falls through the little literary cracks and plops into a whole lot of nope. When that happens you've got to pull your story out of that muck and try to find your baby a new home. Sometimes it doesn't work out and that little sucker lives in a drawer in your desk for forever.

The point is, if you're going to play the game and get your thing out into the world then you've got to have a certain level of patience and know that things move SLLLOOOOWWWW when it comes to publishing.

Finish your projects, send them off, meet your deadlines (please don't be the jerk to hold up everyone else), and then START ON A NEW PROJECT. Don't sit and stare at the screen, waiting for an email of every step of the process, let go of that sent-off darling and start vomiting out a new lovely, word baby. Try to have projects out and about all the time, and remember to just breathe and keep writing: that's your job.