REJECTION

One of the things almost every writer will run into is rejection. The dreaded ‘thanks but no thanks’ form letter that crushes souls and dreams of writers everywhere. I’ve written before about why I actually don’t mind rejection letters, but that doesn’t mean they don’t also suck.

You send your little word baby out into the world and someone kicks it back home. Now, sometimes the word baby comes back with a note attached, “pretty eyes, but too long” “great personality, but not for us” and so on. These notes are awesome. Personalized rejections are a great thing to get.

Most of the time your word baby will have a simple form letter stapled to its face. “Thank you for submitting to xyz. Our editors read your story and decided it was not appropriate for xyz. Thank you” or something of that sort.

Now, here’s what should do after you get any kind of rejection:

1. Read it, record it, and move on

Read it once. Twice at most, and then either delete it or put it in a file where you can’t easily see it. You don’t need to read it over and over again stressing about every word in that email and trying to find some hidden meaning in it. Read it, record it, and move on. (You should be keeping track of everywhere you’re sending your stories so make note of when you received the rejection and what it said.)

2. If you got feedback, add it to the story

Now right after a rejection, you might be a little too unhappy to dive immediately into the story, and that’s cool. But if you get a particular suggestion from an editor then copy and paste it into your file so you can look at it later. A lot of these suggestions will be very helpful, especially once you’re not stinging from the BURN OF REJECTION.

3. Do something

If a rejection notice really gets under your skin, go do something physical. Run, box, dance naked around your house, take a bubble bath and play battle ship with the shampoo bottle. Just go do something and get that energy out. It will help calm you down.

4. Look for other places to submit

There are tons of calls out there and you can almost always find another home for your little word baby. If you think your story is solid, then go ahead and resubmit it out to a new market. Just make sure you record it.

5. WRITE MORE

This is kind of an always sort of thing, but don’t let a rejection keep you from getting writing done. Get back to writing and putting words on paper.

Things you should NOT do.

1. Write an email back

DO NOT RESPOND TO THE REJECTION. Especially if your instinct is to respond by spitting acid across the internet in an attempt to dissolve said editor person. BAD WRITER. NO. Do not send an angry email or demand to know how they could possibly deny you. Unless the rejection email specifically asks for something, for instance, “This wasn’t quite right for us but we like your voice. Do you have anything else?” or if you are asked to make revisions and resubmit. Then by all means respond, but otherwise, let it go and do not scream into the void.

2. DO NOT BLAST THE COMPANY

Professionalism is the name of the game and professionalism doesn’t go on screaming rants about that terrible dumb company that dared to reject MOI! This also applies to bad reviews. Just do not engage. Rant to friends, family, dogs, cats, lost circus bears, etc. but do not put that in writing and send it out into the universe. It’s been said a million times, but publishing is smaller than you think and a lot of people will see your meltdown.

3. DO NOT GIVE UP FIVEEVER

I know that being told no, especially being told no over and over can be disheartening. It can be enough to make you want to hang up your writing shoes (writing mittens? Writing hands? What the hell do writers wear?) and give up. DON’T. If you need to take a day or two to  be devastated, that’s fine, but don’t stop. DON’T EVER STOP. (*que Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing montage here*)

Now from here you can send that little word baby out to a new potential home; scrap that story and shelf it for a while; or you can pull out your seam rippers and cut ‘er open and see what’s wrong. If a story has been rejected multiple times, it’s probably time for a little bit of surgery to see what’s not ticking quite right. Take any feedback you’ve gotten and see if it fits, let a new person read it and see what they think. Play, tinker and create. THAT’S YOUR JOB.

Rejection is a part of the game. It’s a crappy part, but rejection means you’re out there doing your damnedest and that deserves some celebration. Getting a rejection means you’re out there trying, and working at it. People who never finish anything never get rejections so you’re that much further ahead. GO YOU!

So here’s to you and to all your past, present and future rejection letters!

Dear New Graduate,

I know a ton of people who graduated from various levels of schooling this weekend (congrats all you awesome people!) and I wanted to take the chance to post a letter that I wish someone had given me when I graduated from college with my bachelors.

Hey graduate!

Great job! You have traveled the pit of eternal essays and arrived on the other side, the mystical so called ‘real world’ that so many people have told you about. 

Good news! You’re going to find out that this ‘real world’ is a lot like college. You have to worry about bills, buying food, and managing your time. You also won’t have classes and without homework will probably find yourself with more free time than you know what to do with!

Now here’s the bad news, the economy is crap right now and odds are it’s going to take you months to find a job, and when you do it probably won’t be your dream job. It’s alright to feel sad about this, and stare at the ceiling and cry for no reason other than that your life has suddenly changed in ways you didn’t want. (Side note: Apply for jobs well before your graduate! Don’t wait until you’re done to start hunting officially.)

All your friends likely don’t live near you anymore and they can’t come over for pizza at 1am every night. You may move in with your parents and back into your childhood bedroom where there is no mini-fridge or stacks of textbooks. You might miss the stupid things like the awful cafeteria food or the noise from your upstairs neighbors.

It’s alright, and normal, and while you may feel like this will never end, you are going to be ok. 

So here’s where I drop some advice:

Look for a job like it is your job, and don’t be too proud to apply for jobs in retail, or at restaurants. I know you’ve heard your whole life “if you don’t get a college degree you’ll end up working in xyz field.” And now that might be where you end up. Learn everything you can from those jobs, and hell, you might even find out you really dig those kinds of jobs, and that’s great! 

You’re not going to hear from every job you apply for and it’s going to drive you slowly mad.You’ll scream at your friends, cats, and computer that this is the perfect job for you but months will tick by and never a call. Be mad, be upset. Keep applying for jobs. Talk to your alma mater and get help from the career center. (Yes, you can still talk to them even after you’ve graduated.)

Volunteer with your free time; stay in touch with your friends; try to be nice to the world around you.

A degree doesn’t make you a great person, and it certainly doesn’t make you a better person than anyone else working in a field you deem ‘beneath you’. 

When you finally get a job, wring it dry: take every last bit of skill that you can learn and treat it like the most important thing in your life. Be on time, be pleasant, and be willing to learn. If you hate your job, keep applying for jobs while you’re working, save your money and live frugally. 

STUDENT LOANS ARE COMING AND THEY ARE TERRIFYING AND CRUEL. 

You may start your first job and feel totally lost. See that degree didn’t really teach you skills you need in most jobs like… Filing reports in a non stupid way, or not reacting when a customer spends thirty minutes screaming at you for no reason. Those are the things you’ll learn in jobs and places outside the classroom (that you hopefully had while in college) and not from memorizing Emily Dickinson poems. 

Figure out what your dream is, and realize that you will probably need some kind of income to achieve it. (I like doing 1, 5, and 10 year goals.) Plan and look towards your future because it’s coming whether you want it to or not. 

The biggest thing you need to believe is that you DO NOT need a degree or permission from anyone to do huge things. You can paint and write and dance without ever having gone to school for it.

Know that more school won’t always make you better at something, and you can learn without being in a classroom and trying for a grade. Accept that sometimes (frequently) you will fail and fall on your face. Learning to get up and carry on, bruises and all, is something that will come with time. 

DO NOT GO TO GRAD SCHOOL JUST TO DELAY GRADUATING. Grad school is stressful, and specialized. In the humanities, graduate degrees are often a gateway to teaching but those jobs are slim and not guaranteed (and if that is your plan make sure your degree is terminal). You don’t need an MFA to write or paint or sing. Think long and hard about if the extra debt and time spent on grad school will pay off and why you are really going.

Remember to be proud of what you’ve done, but never forget that this is just the beginning. In life no one tells you what the requirements are or how many credit hours you have to take before you’re done.

Congratulations, and go kick ass,

Andrea

Patience aka WHY CAN'T I HAVE MY BOOK NOW?

Patience is probably one the virtues I wish I was better at. Writing is a slow process THAT TAKES FOREVER AND WHY CAN’T I HAVE MY BOOK NOW?

Depending on how fast you write, finishing the first draft of a single short story can take a month or more, and if you start working on a longer piece… that can drag on for years (just don’t be one of those people who is ‘working on a novel’ without ever writing a word, okay? Get it on paper.). You finally get the story done and stare at your lovely, little word blob and then it just magically becomes a book instantly. That’s a new mac attachment clearly, the iPublishnow.

Truth: ALL OF THAT WRITING ISN’T EVEN THE HALF OF IT.

After you finish that first steaming draft full of problems and trouble THEN you have to go back and edit, and sometimes rewrite it. And you do this step over and over and over. Until your eyes sizzle and coffee drizzles from your nose.

After that, you submit it off into the wild blue-green yonder where it either a) goes off to an agent to look for representation b) goes to a publisher (and probably the BUMBUMBUM slush pile) or c) self-pub baby!

(okay, those are not every option ever available for a writer, but let’s just stick with those three for simplicity’s sake, kay?)

From here, everything requires more steps.

AKA No don’t just type THE END and throw it up on Amazon and wait for the money to rain down from the muses that live above your bed.

From here it will try to find a home, contracts will be negotiated, drawn up, yadda yadda, THEN it will go through a series of edits, a title will be decided, descriptions created, covers  made, and formatting fought with. Annnnd probably more that I’m forgetting or just plain don’t know about because they haven’t happened to me yet.

End of story: There’s still a TON of steps from after you type the end to when you hold your precious word vomit baby in your arms and coo over it.

The fastest one has gone for me is a short story that took roughly 6 months from THE END to print version, and that was damn fast because it only had four people in the anthology.

The longest?

Well, let’s just say there are some 3+ year projects that haven’t moved forward past typing THE END yet.

That’s another part of writing you don’t learn about until you’re there. Projects can and will just freeze for unknown reasons. Sometimes a project falls through the little literary cracks and plops into a whole lot of nope. When that happens you’ve got to pull your story out of that muck and try to find your baby a new home. Sometimes it doesn’t work out and that little sucker lives in a drawer in your desk for forever.

The point is, if you’re going to play the game and get your thing out into the world then you’ve got to have a certain level of patience and know that things move SLLLOOOOWWWW when it comes to publishing.

Finish your projects, send them off, meet your deadlines (please don’t be the jerk to hold up everyone else), and then START ON A NEW PROJECT. Don’t sit and stare at the screen, waiting for an email of every step of the process, let go of that sent-off darling and start vomiting out a new lovely, word baby. Try to have projects out and about all the time, and remember to just breathe and keep writing: that’s your job.

Outlining aka WHO AM I AND WHY AM I WEARING PANTS?

For years, I considered myself a pantser (writing by the seat of yours pants, aka in your undies) when it comes to plotting and in life. I mean who needs pants, right?  I just kind of close my eyes and go and see where the story leads me (hopefully not outside since I lack pants), but for my last few stories I've found that the way I write has totally changed. Now I struggle to write anything without an outline, even just a short story. And what's really scary about this, is that I actually am starting to enjoy it. WHO AM I AND WHY AM I WEARING PANTS?

I always figured that outlines would suck all the fun and awesome right on out of the story. I mean what fun is it if I know what's going to happen? If I know the bulldozer powered by squirrels is coming then where's the surprise?

The answer is that I still get to fling squirrels into bulldozers and be surprised when it turns out they know how to drive. I just don't have to throw 700 squirrels only to realize that the window was never down so they never could have made it into the driver's seat, and I've wasted all of my energy throwing squirrels into nothing.

Outlining lets me see where the big problems are and take a hammer to them when they're still just 100 words, rather than an entire novel. It saves me time slaving away at an idea that's just not working by letting me see the problems (the window being up and locked) before I start writing.

For me, outlining has become the process of inspecting a car or a house or a boat or some other big thing (What do people with lots of money even buy?) before you buy it. You have to make sure all the widgets work and that the parts are going to move together before you start driving it anywhere, otherwise you're likely to end up on the side of the road with spiders crawling out of the engine and no idea what went so terribly wrong.

My outline technique is short. I just write out a summary of what happens, the major points, and big events. Usually this ends up being a few thousand words and I'll write it several times, working out the kinks every time until I've got a story that's solid enough to just be driven. Then I ride it on into town with as few pit stops as possible.

Be Boring

When I was first starting to really take myself seriously as a writer (as in writing every day and trying to actively get published), I remember thinking that I was way too boring to write anything exciting. I mean, I don't do drugs, or get black out drunk every night. I don't go wild and travel through dangerous areas in the dead of night. Hell, I think the most dangerous thing I do on a regular basis is walk into my bookshelf nearly every morning when I'm getting ready for work because despite nearly a year of it being in the same place, it's always a surprise!

I grew up with stories about the wild antics of writings, with the motto 'write drunk, edit sober.' I always thought I was too much of a bore to fit in, but what I've found over the last few years has been the opposite. Schedules actually help me keep at my writing more than any sort of wild life ever could. Knowing that I'm home by 4 every day and sticking to the schedule lets me prepare to write. It's become a habit now. I don't have to sit and wait to be inspired to write, it's simply 4:00 and time to write.

Now clearly not every day works out in an ideal way, but having a steady life where I am not totally clueless about what's coming next helps keep me grounded. When I'm not stressing about what's going to happen tomorrow (or where I'm going to get my next fix) keeps me focused on the story at hand. I've fond that the only real way to get any writing accomplished is really simple: sit on your butt (or stand at your standing desk) and write. There's nothing else that puts the words into the world. Not talking about writing, not daydreaming, not reading. At the end of the day the only way to write is.... to write.

And a boring, stable life helps that happen.

Now, that doesn't mean you have to keep a boring life in all aspects. Try new things, travel to new places, eat weird food that you can't pronounce, and do things that scare you, but never feel like having a stable life is a disadvantage when it comes to being creative.

10 Things I Wish I'd Learned In My Creative Writing Degree

When I finished my BA in English with a focus in Creative Writing, I was convinced I knew everything. Then I went to try to get a short story published in something besides the college run literary magazine and realized I didn't have a clue what I was doing. For a while I was really angry about how little I came out of school knowing how to do. (Some days I still am.) It felt like my entire degree had been geared towards learning how to write what my professors wanted me to write, certainly not for me. I learned how to write for the deadline, make the changes the professor wanted, and to turn in a paper on time.

Learning how to turn things in on a deadline is a great skill to have learned, but I still get upset when I think about all the things I wished I'd learned in my program, and the things I wished I'd even known to ask about! Here's a list of 10 things I wish I had learned about with my degree.

10. How to find magazines open for submissions

Aside from flyers posted in the common areas, and professors passing out handouts about journals, how do I find the places that accept them? What's a SASE? What do you mean a cover letter; what's suppose to be in that? What should I include in my bio? Is my title and name included in the word count? What's a standard manuscript format? What's multiple submission versus simultaneous submission? I don't just throw my poems into the air and they'll teleport to a magical poetry magazine?

9. The publishing process

What is the process that something has to go through to be published? Who looks at it first and what happens from there? What is an acquisitions editor? Copy edit versus line edit? Who will I talk to if I have a question? How do I put something into an ebook format? What are my options? What's the difference between a small press, a mid-level press, a big-six, and self publishing? What's an average contract look like? It's all instant right?

8. Writer Beware!

So 90% of profit to the publisher and 100 year exclusive rights are normal in a contract right? Also selling my first-born is just standard, yeah? You always have to pay someone to publish something for you. You pay them a lot of money and the nice vanity press makes magic for you, right?

7. Business behind writing

Tax write-offs? What are those? What do you mean taxes exist when you make money from writing things? It's not just a magical pot of money? What do you mean keeping up with receipts and contracts? What are these contracts for anyway? I'll just sign it and not really read it, cause it's not important, right?

6. That you don't have to drink to write

Well my classmates regularly come to class drunk and no one cares so that's just the norm right? All writers drink, it's just a natural part of life and if you don't get drunk to write, you're doing it totally wrong.In fact, hell let's have class at the bar! That will make life easier for everyone! What do you mean you don't want your classmate's drunken critique?

5. It's okay to write in more than one area

You mean I don't have to say 'Yes I only write poetry.' and never take a fiction class or touch a short story lay out? You mean I never learn anything about screenplays because none of the classes think it's worth talking about? I won't burst into flames if I write a poem and a short story in the same day?

4. Not all advice is good.

You mean 'Stop writing genre crap' isn't good advice? 'Stop writing dead grandma poems' isn't good advice? What makes good advice then? If the teacher tells me that this character is stock and boring then I have to chop them and redo everything until every person in the world is pleased, right?

3. Read whatever you want

You mean there are things beside the classics? I can read things other than Shakespeare and still be considered literate? I can even read... GASP....romance and sci-fi and it's okay? No one will revoke my writer status and shun me forever?

2. More grammar

We don't actually need a course on grammar because that's not important. We'll just throw some comma worksheets into English 1101 and that'll be fine.

1. GENRE FICTION IS FINE

I won't burst into a non-writer pile of goo the second that I write something beside 'literary' fiction? How is your work not 'horror genre crap' won't be a question I'll ever have to answer to graduate?  You mean people read things beside literary fiction?

I understand that programs can't teach everything but to me, a creative writing program not allowing genre fiction and constantly disparaging it only hurts the students. Also, never teaching students how to submit their work sets them up for failure. A lot of these are things that I could have (and eventually did) learn on my own, but many of them I didn't even think to ask about or look for until well after I'd graduated.

What I learned in my program was how to cater towards a small audience and how to have my stories controlled and reigned in. I learned that genre is 'crap' and that literary writing is the only thing worth reading or writing. I learned that workshops can be incredibly toxic ('This is a dead grandma poem so I didn't waste my time reading it. You suck.'), and that writing is meant to exist in a void where it is just discussed for its academic merit. I learned how to recite the classics, and follow in the path carved out into the world of the academic.

What I've learned is that I don't need a degree to learn how to write (in fact I'm beginning to think it's better that way). What you need is a hardcore dedication to your work. You need to write every day and believe in your own vision. If you don't know something you hunt down the information and devour it whole without waiting for someone else to teach it to you.

So in the end, I don't necessarily blame my program, but I can't say I can recommend it to anyone else. Learn what inspires you and scrap the rest.

A piece of paper given to you by a university will never dictate your ability to write.

"Books are written with time stolen from other people"

Selfish.

It's a word that plays on repeat in my brain. On a good day I'll only hear it once or twice. On a bad day it plays a song that lasts from the moment my eyes open to the second I finally drift to sleep.

One of the things that I struggle the most with writing is the selfishness that it requires. I don't mean the Golum hoarding type of selfishness, I mean the 'I have to go lock myself in my bedroom for the entire evening rather than hang out with my friends/family' sort of selfishness.

I've always been very bad at saying no or not doing something for someone else. I am a people pleaser at my very core, and I struggle with any time I have to say no to doing something for someone. I have a terrible case of balloon hand where I volunteer for tasks that pop up and cut away from my time.

I want to help everyone and do everything for all of the people I care about. I will drop everything and drive eight hours through the night if someone really needs me to. But the problem with that is that I constantly give away time that I need to spend on my writing.

What I probably struggle the most with is writing in the evenings when my roommates are home. I adore my roommates and it's rare that we're all home at the same time so I want to savor that, but I struggle to get much work done when camped out in the living room half listening to a conversation, and half plotting on how to kill the troublesome centaur in chapter 3.

I'm half way everywhere and getting nothing done.

I recently read the quote that became the title of this post, "Books are written with time stolen from other people" and as much as I've searched the Internet I can't figure out who said it (if you know please tell me!). But this quote is probably one of the truest things I've ever read. The time spent on writing is time not spent doing something else, and a lot of  that means cutting time with people you love.

How do you get around it?

For me, I'm starting to adjust myself to getting up earlier in the morning and trying to write then. I'm looking at a few other options to see if I can make the time I need without feeling like I'm cutting contact with the people I love, because while writing can be a lonely job, you need contact with people and a support network for the inevitable swings that writing brings.

I think this problem is particularly an issue when you work full time, because after that 8-10 hours a day are gone, there's not many hours left to fit in everything else. To everyone with children, and spouses, I admire your dedication even more. I'm single, childless and still stress about time on a daily basis.

The truth of the matter is that there is no way to just magically 'find' time in your day like a discarded nickel found in the washing machine. You make time, you carve it out from the flesh of the day and you have to leave pieces behind because there just isn't enough to go around. The important thing is to be aware of what you're cutting out, and to take control of the hours you can free.

Opportunity + Preparation = Luck

A few months ago I posted about putting a ban on the word luck, and I've been done pretty well with keeping my word and owning what I've done. Recently I saw an incredible quote that finally summed up what I felt about luck. It's from a Business Insider article, and is something that Betty Liu heard from her television coach.

"Opportunity + Preparation = Luck" (hence the blog post title, I'm so clever)

You can be in the exact right place and meet the exact right person but if you're not prepared then it's for nothing. Imagine meeting a Hollywood executive looking for his/her next big movie option, and runs into you. You don't have a screenplay written, you've just got a kind of half-formed idea. Even though you're in the right place, things probably aren't going to work out for you because you're not prepared.

Luck comes to people who work hard and put themselves into positions to luck out. You're never going to just get lucky and land a new job in a different field by sitting at home and never learning those skills you need. You're never going to just happen to sell the next Harry Potter sitting at home never writing.

You have to put in the time and effort for all the pieces to fall into place.

Conning it up: Tips and tricks for an awesome con time!

I just returned from rocking my butt off at ConNooga this weekend with some of the most amazing friends a girl could hope for. Seriously, my convention family is incredible and I adore every single one of you.

Cons, for me, are a ton of fun and just about the most exhausting thing in the world. When you spend most of your time alone or with just a few people being in a situation where you're suddenly surrounded by thousands of people can be overwhelming. Especially when you're on and working the whole weekend.

Yes, at conventions I'm working, connecting with readers, writers, publishers, and friends. From the moment I get there until the moment I go back home, I'm on and working. What that means is smiling, answering questions, and interacting with people. As an introvert with some serious anxiety issues, it can be incredibly difficult.

Over the years I've gotten better. I no longer hide in my room between panels, or eat alone, or go to bed as soon as my last panel is over. I talk to strangers, don't let one jerk ruin the weekend, and I stay out and interact with people (which includes occasionally uncomfortable, creepy situations). I also have fewer moments of 'Oh god why am I here with all these incredibly talented people when I am a potato'  which helps as well. I figured that now was as good a time as any to share a couple of things I've learned over the years and see if maybe it can help anyone else have a better time.

1. Have a comfort group

Have a person (or a few people) that you can go to when you get overwhelmed and that calm you down. This can be a friend, a mentor, etc. It's great when you have a table near this person, but that doesn't always happen. I'm fortunate to have built up a great network of people that make me feel safe and I can go to them when I get frazzled and get my head right again. I also have a great group of people who remind me that I have a right to be here and that my point of view is valuable.

2. Take some time before your panel

Panels scare the ever-loving daylight out of me. The thought of something stupid coming out of my mouth gives me nightmares weeks before I even get to a convention. But they're also one of my favorite things because I love helping people. So, before most panels I try to find a chance to escape to the bathroom and do the wonder woman pose in a stall for a few seconds. There's an awesome Ted Talk that explains more about this, but it helps me feel more confident. I also try to make a conscious effort to not cross my arms or slouch. If I project confidence long enough, I start to feel confident again. I often stand with my hands on my hips behind my table or twirl from side to side to work off my anxious energy. It makes people laugh, but it helps me feel better.

3. Study the convention before you go

Knowing who is going to be there and where it's going to be can help immensely. Learning that a convention is at a hotel you've been to before makes it less frightening (especially for me because I have zero sense of direction and get lost in my own neighborhood frequently). Make a list of addresses you need to know (hotel, convention center, gas station, restaurant, etc.) and keep them in your pocket or purse.

Also, don't be afraid to reach out to people who are going to the same convention. This is especially true if you're a guest and don't know anyone. Email some of the other guests, introduce yourself, and make plans to meet up there! For me, talking to someone on social media first is awesome and way less frightening than talking to a stranger in person.

4. Know when you need a moment

Going to hide in the bathroom or your room when you get overwhelmed is okay! The point is to come back out and get at it again as soon as you can. Take a few deep breaths, and try to calm down. Try listening to your favorite song, reading something you love, or just going on a walk. It's okay to freak out, but the point is to not let it conquer you.

5. Don't let one thing ruin your weekend

At some conventions I have unfortunate encounters with creepers who make it difficult to enjoy anything after it's happened. What I've found works for me is to take a walk with a friend, get out of the area, go get food (or drinks or nothing). The movement helps calm me back down and reminding myself that awesome people way outnumber the creeps helps me remember why I'm here and that at the end of the day I love conventions and the wacky, awesome family I've found in them.

6. Play pretend

Sometimes when I go to conventions I pretend I'm someone else. I pretend to be a really outgoing, boisterous, confident person. I wear outrageous clothes, talk loud and play pretend like when I was a kid and would pretend to be a power ranger. By the end of the weekend, I'm ready to take that persona off, but it can get me through the convention. I have a particular skirt, and a particular pair of shoes that 'transform' me into this persona and when I'm really worried about shrinking away at a convention I'll wear those and fake it till I make it in the confidence field.

7. Remember everyone else is nervous too

Almost every person you meet at a convention is nervous about it. I've even had someone nervous about talking to me (to me!!) and it's strange to suddenly realize that no one is perfect and always confident. This weekend I heard a New York Times bestselling author say that they felt like at any moment someone was going to realize a mistake had been made and come take everything from them. That's a feeling I fight through every day, and realizing even the people you admire fight that battle is incredibly comforting.

You're not alone with your fear, we're all wrestling with it too.

I hope maybe that helps someone else, and if you have any tips or ideas I'd love to hear them!

Done is better than perfect

So the incredible Chuck Wendig recently wrote a blog post about The Days When You Don't Feel Like Writing and, as usual, hit the nail straight on the head and sent it spiraling into another dimension of baddassery and amazingness.

Writing every day, especially on the days when you don't feel up for it, has changed how I get work done. The days when every word is like trying to pull teeth from a live, hungry great white are the ones that matter the most. If you can write on those days, you can write anytime, anywhere. And you start to believe that. That's power right there.

I use to make excuses for why I didn't get any words on paper, but that just it made it easier to continue to skip days of writing because I 'didn't feel like it' and just didn't want to.

What I've realized is that when I come back to edit my work I don't usually notice what was written on the days when I was pulling teeth and the days I was really feeling it. They all need editing, reworking and pulling together to become cohesive. Nothing shows up perfect.

It's actually one of the new things I've started telling myself "done is better than perfect" because you can't edit a draft that doesn't exist yet, you can't publish a book that was never written.

So write whether you're feeling it or not. Write when you have the time, whether you want to write or not, because at the end of he the day no one is going to pinpoint the moment you struggled in your writing of the first draft.

Get it done, and then worry about everything else.