Liminal Year

What a year 2020 was, huh?

The end there got a bit dark and struggle-y for me personally but here we are, on the other side of that 0.

My hope for this year is to be more active here, read more books and write more. Of course, I also have those 'typical' goals of getting healthier, working out more, etc. What can I say? I'm only human.

2020 changed a lot of things for pretty much everyone I know. There are so many things I miss and so many things that I've learned about myself. For instance, I've learned that working without background noise is a real struggle for me and that I really like Lo-Fi music.

Today I spent a good part of the day getting all of my calendars set up for 2021 and writing down important events. Normally I have several conventions I'm going to but this year, I don't have a single one on my calendar. It makes me realize how much I do miss those convention conversations and hanging out with the friends I only see at these conventions.

I think 2021 is going to be a liminal year, full of transitions, strangeness and disorientation. We're in the middle of a reshuffling of a whole lot of ways of life and of people seeing a new way of doing things. Many places are already looking at more permanent work from home options and several conventions are looking at creating year-round online content. The way we live has fundamentally changed and this is the year that these changes take root.

I've always loved liminal spaces, the grocery store at 2am, the abandoned building or the airport in the dead of night (man, remember airports?). There is a potential in those areas, a quiet humming energy that stays unseen but sends the hairs on your arms standing on end.

For 2021, I have so many things I want to do, but I also want to give myself the time to both enjoy the potential and to adjust to the stress of change. No matter how exciting a change is, it's always stressful and 2020 really proved that. What a year. I've never napped so regularly as I did all this past year. It just felt like exhaustion was always crawling up my spine.

Right now I've set a few simple goals with solid numbers that will give me a clear 'yes or no' when it comes to the end of the year.

I want to write 500,000 words.

I want to earn $3000 from my writing/freelance work.

I want to work out five times a week.

Those are the basics that I am hoping for in 2021. They're pretty easily trackable and when December 31, 2021 arrives I can look back and see a pretty solid yes or no for those.

But at the same time, I also feel that this coming year is the perfect year to change and shift goals as the year goes. I'm open for leaning into that slightly unnerving liminal energy to see where the currents take me.

If you're reading this, remember you survived 2020 and saw the dawn of 21, that's exciting. Look towards the ever changing future and remember that it's impossible to predict what's ahead. Learning how to roll with those changes is a lesson I'm hoping to learn more about in the coming year because honestly, who knows what waits around the corner?

A Day in the Life

Something that people frequently ask about is what do I in a day? I think a lot of creative people get asked about their processes and how they manage to 'find the time to do all that', at least a lot of the people I know get asked that question a whole lot. So I thought I'd give a peak behind the curtain of what a typical (if there really is such a thing) day looks like for me. Now note here, I have several advantages as far as time goes: I have no romantic partner; I have no kids; I live with two roommates to split chores with.  So with all that aside, let's get started! 

5am
On the best of days I'm up at 5am to get some writing and/or staring into space contemplating life time. I tend to be a morning person so I try to make the most of it. Realistically, I roll out of bed about 5:20 and have some time to read. 

5:45 am
This is when I stop staring into space/working and actually start getting ready for the day. I brush my teeth and my hair (with different brushes of course), wash my face and go through a whole skincare routine, put on makeup or don't, get dressed, and throw my lunch into a bag. Most of the time I've packed pretty much everything I need the night before so it's just a matter of grabbing a bag and going. 

6:00 - 6:55 am
I commute in to work on the train so I spend my time reading or listening to podcasts. If I'm on a really tight deadline, I'll write on the train but I prefer writing at home. Not having to drive makes my life so much better, public transit is amazing y'all. 

7:00 - 11:00 am
Day job! 

11:00 am - 12:00 pm
I usually take lunch around this time. Generally, I go for a walk or workout during this time and eat at my desk (bad, I know!)

12:00 - 3:45 pm
Day job! 

4:00-5:00 pm
Commuting back home on the train. Usually I listen to podcasts more often in the afternoon. 

5:00 - 6:00 pm
Dinner! I walk in the door hungry most days so I pretty much walk in the door, change into my pjs, and start dinner. I tend to batch cook on Sunday so cooking consists of heating up leftovers which is awesome. I also watch some Netflix or Youtube while I'm eating (bad again, I know!) Sometimes I'll go play PokemonGo with my roommates when I get home too. We're awesome at the raid battles. (Go Team Instinct!)

6:00 - 8:00 pm
This is when I try to get the bulk of my writing or editing done. If I'm working on two projects, I'll split them to work on one in the morning and one in the evening. 

8:00 - 9:00 pm
Hang out time! Most of the time this is time I'll spend with my roommates watching Netflix or playing video games. It's really helpful for my mental health to do something fun like games. I try to do this most nights but some nights it doesn't happen. This is also when I pack my lunches and get together whatever I need for work the next day. I frequently lay out my clothes and things too.  

9:00-9:30 pm
Bed time! Seriously, I really, really struggle with sleep so I go to bed early. I have a whole bedtime routine that I've talked about before and that's all because I have a hard time getting more than 3 hours of sleep a night. I go to bed early to help me get the maximum number of hours possible. Sleep is important y'all.

Of course, this isn't every day and sometimes I get more done than other days, but I try to keep a consistent bedtime and get-up time even on the weekends and holidays. Sleep is my main struggle and this schedule has helped me get a handle on it. So there you have it, a day in the life. On a good day, I can clock in between 4000-5000 words on a project. On a bad day, it's a big 'ol goose egg word count. I am still tweaking what works and doesn't work for me, like writing on the train, it works in the morning but if I try in the afternoon I have a tendency to get motion sick and be out the rest of the day. Big lesson: Experiment with what works for you and learn about your process. 
 

Opinionated

For a long time I've been scared to have a strong opinion. I like to try to make everyone happy, and that means not disagreeing, not sharing things I agree or disagree with all because I want everyone, down to strangers on the internet to like me. It's meant that I keep quiet when I'm in situations that make me uncomfortable, when I see something that upsets me. It means I've kept my mouth shut when I needed to be speaking up. 

I've let people walk all over me. I've bent over backwards to help people who don't deserve it and I've watched friends fight battles alone because I was afraid of the reactions.

And I'm so tired of being afraid. Fear has become a small part of my life and I'm so over it.

So now every Friday I'm going to share an opinion piece. Looking forward to it! 

The Productivity Ninja Lied To You

Sharing time! I'm obsessed with productivity tips and blogs. Articles like '7 Habits Only Happy People Have' and '12 Ways You Waste Time Every Day' devour my morning and leave me feeling productive even when I have literally just spent 3 hours on LifeHacker and have nothing to show for it but chapped lips, dry eyes and a lingering sense of guilt. 

While I love reading about these tips, it's just because it feels productive without me having to actually do anything hard. Reading an article? Psssha, that's easy work and a total time waster, but this article will teach me how to optimize my morning so I get everything done and become a productivity ninja! 

That's not to say that these articles don't share good advice or fun tidbits of information that make you feel great about yourself. (I mean, did you know that millionaires tend to smile a lot. I smile a lot, I'm totally on the way to being a millionaire since we have so much in common.) However, at some point it's time to stop with the fun articles and buckle up for a ride. 

Accomplishing things sucks sometimes. Even things you're excited about can be hard to motivate yourself for. I love the novel I'm working on but some days the last thing in the world I want to do is park my cute, little butt in a chair and sit (or stand) at my desk to write. I love the story, the characters, everything, but UGH WHY CANNOT I TELEPATH MY STORY INTO PEOPLE'S HEADS?

But the work is necessary. There are some ways that might make it easier. For example, setting a timer and racing to see how many words I can type in 25 minutes (My best record was 2,003 whoo!) gets me typing and having fun. Some days though, that just doesn't work. I sit at my computer for an hour and type three words and ignore the timer. 

It's a matter of working with myself and knowing that sitting down to work is the only way this project will get done. So yeah, I might pop on Facebook or Twitter or Tumblr or the whole of the Interwebs, but eventually I fall back into my work because I know I have to or it won't happen. A simple motivation? Maybe, but it's the one that stays constant. 

I still dream of being a productivity ninja who talks about how I rise at 5am to go on a 6-mile run before having a kale smoothie and meditating for twenty minutes, but I don't think I ever will be. And I'm totally okay with that. But what I can do is work with what I am, which is a procrastinating over-achiever who wants to live in a Real Simple magazine but would only break everything I touched there. 

And that's okay because who wants a kale smoothie anyways?