Moonlight and Magnolias!

This year I went to the Georgia Romance Writer Association's Moonlight and Magnolias for the first time and I had an incredible time. I was really nervous going into the conference because I'd never been and I didn't know anyone who was going to be there. It turned out to be one of the most fun, informative conferences I've ever been to. 

Everyone was beyond friendly, before I'd been there ten minutes I'd already made new friends and was getting all kinds of great advice on how to make the most of my time at the conference. 

For the first time ever, I pitched agents and editors and I didn't burst into flames once! I actually spent all day Friday taking cancelled pitch sessions and ended up chatting with 7 agents and/or editors. Out of those 3 requested fulls, and 2 requested partials. The other 2 didn't represent my genre but we still had great chats about books and writing. 
Jana Oliver gave a great speech during lunch about not quitting and her own path to success. It was really inspiring to hear! 

Saturday I went to several workshops and learned a lot of new techniques and tips to try out. I think my favorite was learning about storyboarding your novel. I had a lot of fun cutting up pictures and making a collage of inspiration. I'll definitely pull that out in the future. Chris Marie Green gave a really fun but moving speech about her own struggles with publishing and her path through the ups and downs. She themed everything with TV shows and it was really engaging to listen to. 

The evening was the Maggie Awards and one of the things i was most excited about! There aren't many chaces to get dressed up like a princess so I was happy to have the chance to throw on a dress and heels. Because I wasn't staying at the hotel, I actually ended up getting dressed in the bathroom and made several friends who were doing the same thing. Nice to know there'll always be somewhere there to zip your dress up! 

The ceremony was lovely. There were a lot of beautiful tributes and speeches and it was so exciting seeing how many people cheered for one another. When the awards were over the dance floor opened up and partying fully commenced. I had a great time during the few songs I danced to! 

Sunday was the day of goodbyes and while I hated telling everyone bye, I know I'll see many of them soon when I visit the Georgia Romance Writer's next meeting! :)

All in all I was amazed at how welcoming and supportive everyone was. All of the authors were thrilled to meet new authors and share wisdom. Everyone was so passionate and in love with writing that I came home ready to write my heart out on new and old projects. It's hard to be around so many incredible people and not leave inspired! 

"Books are written with time stolen from other people"

Selfish.

It's a word that plays on repeat in my brain. On a good day I'll only hear it once or twice. On a bad day it plays a song that lasts from the moment my eyes open to the second I finally drift to sleep.

One of the things that I struggle the most with writing is the selfishness that it requires. I don't mean the Gollum hoarding type of selfishness, I mean the 'I have to go lock myself in my bedroom for the entire evening rather than hang out with my friends/family' sort of selfishness.

I've always been very bad at saying no or not doing something for someone else. I am a people pleaser at my very core, and I struggle with any time I have to say no to doing something for someone. I have a terrible case of balloon hand where I volunteer for tasks that pop up and cut away from my time.

I want to help everyone and do everything for all of the people I care about. I will drop everything and drive eight hours through the night if someone really needs me to. But the problem with that is that I constantly give away time that I need to spend on my writing.

What I probably struggle the most with is writing in the evenings when my roommates are home. I adore my roommates and it's rare that we're all home at the same time so I want to savor that, but I struggle to get much work done when camped out in the living room half listening to a conversation, and half plotting on how to kill the troublesome centaur in chapter 3.

I'm half everywhere and getting nothing done.

I recently read the quote that became the title of this post, "Books are written with time stolen from other people" and as much as I've searched the Internet I can't figure out who said it (if you know please tell me!). But this quote is probably one of the truest things I've ever read. The time spent on writing is time not spent doing something else, and a lot of  that means cutting time with people you love.

How do you get around it?

For me, I'm starting to adjust myself to getting up earlier in the morning and trying to write then. I'm looking at a few other options to see if I can make the time I need without feeling like I'm cutting contact with the people I love, because while writing can be a lonely job, you need contact with people and a support network for the inevitable swings that writing brings.

I think this problem is particularly an issue when you work full time, because after that 8-10 hours a day are gone, there's not many hours left to fit in everything else. To everyone with children, and spouses, I admire your dedication even more. I'm single, childless and still stress about time on a daily basis.

The truth of the matter is that there is no way to just magically 'find' time in your day like a discarded nickel found in the washing machine. You make time, you carve it out from the flesh of the day and you have to leave pieces behind because there just isn't enough to go around. The important thing is to be aware of what you're cutting out, and to take control of the hours you can free.

The Productivity Ninja Lied To You

Sharing time! I'm obsessed with productivity tips and blogs. Articles like '7 Habits Only Happy People Have' and '12 Ways You Waste Time Every Day' devour my morning and leave me feeling productive even when I have literally just spent 3 hours on LifeHacker and have nothing to show for it but chapped lips, dry eyes and a lingering sense of guilt. 

While I love reading about these tips, it's just because it feels productive without me having to actually do anything hard. Reading an article? Psssha, that's easy work and a total time waster, but this article will teach me how to optimize my morning so I get everything done and become a productivity ninja! 

That's not to say that these articles don't share good advice or fun tidbits of information that make you feel great about yourself. (I mean, did you know that millionaires tend to smile a lot. I smile a lot, I'm totally on the way to being a millionaire since we have so much in common.) However, at some point it's time to stop with the fun articles and buckle up for a ride. 

Accomplishing things sucks sometimes. Even things you're excited about can be hard to motivate yourself for. I love the novel I'm working on but some days the last thing in the world I want to do is park my cute, little butt in a chair and sit (or stand) at my desk to write. I love the story, the characters, everything, but UGH WHY CANNOT I TELEPATH MY STORY INTO PEOPLE'S HEADS?

But the work is necessary. There are some ways that might make it easier. For example, setting a timer and racing to see how many words I can type in 25 minutes (My best record was 2,003 whoo!) gets me typing and having fun. Some days though, that just doesn't work. I sit at my computer for an hour and type three words and ignore the timer. 

It's a matter of working with myself and knowing that sitting down to work is the only way this project will get done. So yeah, I might pop on Facebook or Twitter or Tumblr or the whole of the Interwebs, but eventually I fall back into my work because I know I have to or it won't happen. A simple motivation? Maybe, but it's the one that stays constant. 

I still dream of being a productivity ninja who talks about how I rise at 5am to go on a 6-mile run before having a kale smoothie and meditating for twenty minutes, but I don't think I ever will be. And I'm totally okay with that. But what I can do is work with what I am, which is a procrastinating over-achiever who wants to live in a Real Simple magazine but would only break everything I touched there. 

And that's okay because who wants a kale smoothie anyways? 

How to not be a sad potato

Being surrounded by incredibly talented people and feeling totally overwhelmed seems to pounce on every creative person I know. At most conventions I go to, including DragonCon, sometimes I sit and think, 'Wow, everyone around me is so talented and accomplished and I am a potato who somehow toppled into this party by mistake.' 
The feeling goes by many names but imposter syndrome is the most recent and seems to have connected with a lot of people. It's a feeling everyone seems to get in one way or another. Some of the people I admire most in the world have admitted they feel the same way; that at any second, someone is going to ask 'What are you doing here? You don't belong.' and that will be the end of your charade as a potato trying to make it in this crazy world. 
What makes dealing with this even more challenging is that the voice telling you that you don't belong sounds so rational. 'Your friend has an agent and five books out. Your mentor has written 15 novels. What have you done?' 
It sounds totally logical to you and that makes it seem all the more real. The feeling starts small and soon you're sitting in silence, scared to say anything in the conversation because what if that statement accidently outs you as a fake? Besides, it's not like you, little potato, can contribute to the discussion anyways. 
There's not an easy way to deal with the feeling. If there were it wouldn't be such a phenomena effecting so many people in so many different industries. Social media certainly doesn't help either. On the internet you see the polished up, filtered and perfectly hashtagged life that someone is creating, not the three hours they spent that morning staring at the wall because they couldn't get a word onto the page. 
Here are five things that have helped me overcome potato feels and start being a functioning member of the world again. 

1. Do something. Anything. 
It can be something as little as cleaning a part of your desk, sending an email you've been meaning to send, or reading a book in your to be read pile. Accomplishing something can help give you a boost of feel-good energy to get back on your feet. 

2. Help someone else. 
Somewhere out there is someone looking at you and thinking you're the most talented, lucky person in the room. Someone out there wants your help. Help someone and get out of your own head for just a little while. The space will help. 

3. Write for 10 minutes. Or even just five. 
Write anything, everything. It doesn't have to make sense; just write out anything that pops into your head, get it out of your head and into the universe. Try to write past the point that it's all negative.

4. Tell someone you feel like a potato. 
Find that one friend you can confess to. Saying the words out loud helps take some of their power away, and I bet your friend will say they feel that way too. You're not alone. 

5. No one knows what they're doing. 
Really listen to the people around you. When I open my ears and stop wallowing in my own self-pity and potatoness I hear that my friends don't know what they're doing. They all have things going wrong and are trying to do the best they can with what they have. 

There's no quick and easy cure for feeling this way, but it isn't a permenant place you have to stay in. You're not an imposter and don't let that fear stop you. 

                                                                        Thanks to the amazing Emily's Diary for creating this image. 

5 Ways to Not Be A Lonely Writer

Writing is known for being a solitary pursuit. While there are writer’s groups and ways to create a network around writing, the work itself has to be done alone. Chatting with friends cuts into writing time. It’s easy for a write to tumble into THE ANTI-SOCIAL BUBBLE aka the thunder dome where no one makes eye-contact or speaks. It’s even easier when the creative life takes a nosedive and depression crawls in.

You get wrapped into the world of writing and see relationships drift away until you look up to see you’re a thousand miles from where you started with no one there to help and little energy to even call for help.  There’s a reason that the classic image of a writer is someone alone with nothing but a bottle keeping them company.  Writers tend to be introverted but that doesn’t mean that you don’t need people, social contact and to remember how to say hello and have a conversation. Having a rich fantasy life won’t save you from having to still call the phone company, interact with readers/reviewers/editors/people or any number of other things. 

Not to mention that writing can be an emotionally draining and challenging roller coaster. I always fall into a heavy crash after I finish a project and even though I don’t want to be around people, it’s what I need to help get me out of my funk and into the next project. A support system can be a lifesaver.

Here are five ways that I try to get myself out of the bubble and back into being a somewhat functioning part of life.

1.     Make plans in advance

Know that you’re finishing a draft at the end of September and going to crash emotionally? Make plans with a friend to do something you’re excited about. It could be a big trip, or it could just be watching a TV show you’ve been meaning to catch up on.  Have those plans in place in advance.

2.     Reach out online/text/phone/video

Sometimes the people you most want to see aren’t able to physically be there. That’s okay. We live in the future and you have a device around where you can send someone a message. Email a friend and talk about what’s going on. Text a friend that you’re having a hard time. Skype with your sister. Send a silly cat video to your friend who lives in Korea.

3.     Celebrate.

I like throwing parties so planning a gathering almost always helps throw me out of a funk. There’s so much to do to get ready that I keep myself busy and excited about my friends coming over. Plan parties around times you think you’ll be feeling rough.

4.     Go to a class

Interested in Sky Yoga? What about marketing? Find a class, online or in person, and go check it out. You’ll learn a lot and meet interesting new people. Who knows, maybe you’re next story will spring from what you’re learning?

5.     Find help.

Sometimes you need more than just a friend to talk and you need to look to talk to a therapist or other type of professional. There are options online, there are help lines and ways to reach someone at little to no cost. Don’t be afraid to reach out for that lifeline.

The roller coaster of the creative life can be a challenge to manage, especially when you’re a new writer and still learning what patterns your work might trigger, or when you’re querying, going on submission, or through a rough edit for the first time.  There’s no shame in reaching out to the people around you for support.

Five Ways to Keep Writing While Stressed

So I just finished moving and somehow managed to not pull out all of my hair even though I really wanted to. Along the past month I spent a lot of time stressed out and trying to hit a deadline with an office in boxes. So here I am back with a blog post about writing when stressed out and some tips that helped me live through box fort island.

CHAOS FOREVER

. Write first thing.

Get out of bed just 15 minutes early and use that time to write. It's easy to get lost in the chaos of the day and stress. But if you get some words down before the rest of the day can beat you up then you can get some great work done.

2. Writing sprints.

Waiting for the next appointment and have some down time? Grab your phone, tablet or paper and write. It's impressive how much you can get done in these little chunks of time. 

3. Break out.

Go somewhere new and spend time writing. Getting out of a stressful environment can help you get some writing done. (Please don't actually break anything)

4. Put it on your calendar.

Make a date with your laptop and commit to it. Block it off on your calendar and stick to it. This can be tough to manage but it's incredibly effective.

5. Don't.

I know, I know! But sometimes there really is too much going on and you need to accept that words are not happening. Don't beat yourself up about it and don't say anything mean to yourself. It's ok.

Those are a few pointers for writing while stressed but I'd love to know your tips.

Interview with Lisa M. Collins

I have the pleasure of having Lisa. M. Collins on my blog to answer a few questions. Lisa is a talented author (and an amazing friend!) and I'm happy to have her here to talk about writing and her new novella, The House Bast Made: Reid Cannon Archaeologist.

You can buy her new novella here.

So without further ado... here's Lisa!

Lisa about to take flight!

What’s your new book about?

The book is novella length. The House Bast Made is an adventure where a young archaeologist, Reid Cannon, learns myths need not be fairytales. The story is set on a dig near the Valley of the Kings in Egypt.

Do you write for a set time every day or aim for a certain number of words each day or do something else?

I work a 40hr a week job. Often I can find time on my breaks or at lunch to jot a few words down, but those times aren’t really productive. I hit my stride around 5pm-8pm, and if it wasn’t for the pesky commute I do at 5:30-6:30ish that would be my ideal time to get my word count. For now I write after my shift while waiting to be picked up, after dinner while I’m hanging out with my family, and on the weekends.

Do you outline or just run with an idea?

Oh, Lordy, you really want to know about my process? LOL. OK.

For shorter works like 1,000-8,000 words, I pretty much fly by the seat of my pants. My imagination works much like watching a movie—I can see the cuts and the action, and all I have to do is add the dialogue. Now for works that are longer I usually make notes and do a bit of research. I very rarely outline or do story boards, but I think that may change in the near future.

I recently read Rachel Aaron’s book: 2k to 10k: Writing Faster, Writing Better, and Writing More of What You Love. Rachel has so many great ideas to get you productive. I decided that I would take her advice on my next long format novel. Who knows this could be the end of my footloose and fancy free days!

What was the hardest thing about writing your newest work?

I have a deep and abiding love Egyptology and specifically the Valley of the Kings. When dealing with a large pantheon of gods and goddess you have to keep your stuff straight. Each of them has a unique personality leading them to actions. Keeping the good guys and the bad guys batting on the right team took a bit of notes.

The House Bast Made: Reid Cannon Archaeologist

What are you currently reading?

The Atlantis Gene by A.G. Riddle.

What is your favorite piece of writing advice?

First drafts are where the writing happens, but editing is where the authoring happens.

So many writers think each word perfect must be perfect, editing as they go. The problem is nothing is ever perfect, even in Pulitzers you will find grammar errors or misused wording. What is the difference between a writer and an author? Authors finish. Churn out that first draft, don’t worry, no one has to read it but you. Editing is where the magic happens.

How can readers discover more about you and your work?

Twitter 

Facebook 

LinkedIn 

Pinterest 

Google+ 

Instagram 

Soundcloud 

Pen and Cape Society

Wookiees for Cookies Racing team 

For Deep Fried Dixie Goodness follow Lisa as Tea and Cornbread 

And at the Tea and Cornbread blog 

“I love Southern charm and food. I think everyone should get a taste of what we have cooking down here in the South…and not just in our skillets, but what we have cooking in our industry and our general Faulkneresque attitudes about life, liberty, the Oxford comma, and pursuit of happiness.”  – Lisa M. Collins aka Tea and Cornbread

More from Lisa:

Healthy Writer Series 

Author Interview Series

You can buy The House Bast Made: Reid Cannon Archaeologist here.

Bio:

Lisa M. Collins has always been interested in Outer Space, Adventure stories, and Southern culture. She was born in Dixie and has always lived south of the Mason Dixon Line. She graduated from the University of Arkansas with a bachelor’s degree in history with specializations in American and Russian history. Lisa lives in central Arkansas with her husband and an adorable cat, Baby Girl, who believes she is Lisa’s co-author. Lisa has one adult son who is married to his high school sweetheart.

Lisa’s non-fiction has been published in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette and the Dead Mule School of Southern Literature. . She copy edited and researched on Understanding Global Slavery by University of California Press. Her science fiction story, The Tree of Life, is in the 2013-2014 anthology by Holdfast Magazine. These days she edits for Metahuman Press, and is an upcoming creative contributor with Pro Se Productions and Mechanoid Press. She is a Sally A. Williams Grant winner from the Arkansas Arts Council for writing.

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